Late Night Weighs In on Trump’s Taxes

“And you know how Trump’s always talking about how he’s under audit? Turns out, that’s because the I.R.S. isn’t certain that Trump’s refund was, um, legal. He better win this audit, because if he loses — turns out he would owe the I.R.S. taxes and penalties that could exceed $100 million. [as Trump] ‘Hey, Mexico, forget about that wall — just pay for my tax bill, ’cause Uncle Sam’s going to take my thumbs.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The crazy part isn’t that he spent $70,000 on his hair; it’s that clearly $70,000 wasn’t enough.” — JIMMY FALLON

“But just take a second to think about what all this means. If Donald Trump does win a second term, his creditors will come asking for their $400 million while he is still president, and I don’t know about you, but that has me worried, because I don’t want the president’s decisions for the country getting influenced by his deep financial troubles. And also because there’s a good chance that Trump is going to pay off his debt by selling off American treasures. [imitating Trump] ‘How much will you guys give me for the Grand Canyon?’” — TREVOR NOAH

“I guess that when you owe that kind of money you start doing desperate things. Look at what I saw today on Zillow — he’s selling the White House.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s right, Trump has not paid income taxes in 10 of the last 15 years. Although honestly, wouldn’t it have been more shocking if Trump had paid taxes in those years? Yeah, when the news broke Trump was furious. He was like, ‘Why did I pay taxes for those five years?’” — JIMMY FALLON

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